Should I tell my children what’s in my will?
That’s a question many parents face as they begin their estate planning. While there are arguments for both transparency and privacy, the decision ultimately depends on your individual circumstances and family dynamics. In this blog post, we’ll explore the pros and cons of sharing your Will with your children to help you make an informed decision.
Arguments for Telling Your Children
There are 3 main benefits to telling your children what’s in your Will:
- Building trust
- Avoiding misunderstandings
- Involving your kids in the process
1. Building Trust
Sharing what’s in your Will demonstrates your commitment to open and honest communication with your children, and the transparency prevents your children from feeling excluded or left out of important family decisions.
2. Avoiding Misunderstandings
Telling your children what’s in your Will prevents your kids from making assumptions about your intentions or creating their own narratives based on limited information, and this is one of the best ways to prevent conflicts from arising between your children after you pass away.
3. Involving Children in the Process:
Telling your children what’s in your Will gives them a sense of ownership and involvement in their family’s financial future and allows for open dialogue where you can address their questions and concerns.
Arguments for Not Telling Your Children
Telling your children what’s in your Will isn’t always the right move for every family. There are a few benefits to keeping your Will private from your children:
- Avoiding undue stress
- Protecting family dynamics
- Ensuring a smooth transition
1. Avoiding Undue Stress
Discussing sensitive topics like inheritance can be emotionally challenging for both parents and children. Prematurely disclosing the contents of your Will can create unnecessary stress and anxiety for your children—especially if one of your kids is already going through a difficult time.
2. Protecting Family Dynamics
Revealing your Will could lead to feelings of jealousy, resentment, or favoritism among siblings, especially when there are already existing tensions between your family members. Transparency could actually exacerbate these tensions or create new divisions within the family.
3. Ensuring a Smooth Transition:
Keeping your Will private can help prevent disputes and ensure a smooth transition of your estate, and you’ll have the flexibility to make changes or adjustments to your estate plan as your circumstances change.
Our Opinion at Gaslowitz Frankel
Should you tell your children what’s in your Will?
Here’s our advice at Gaslowitz Frankel:
Every family is different, but in most cases, it’s probably best to communicate what’s in your Will or estate plan with your children.
Remember: we’re a fiduciary law firm, and we’ve litigated so many estate dispute cases where children were battling each other over inheritance designations. Many of these cases could have been avoided if the parents had communicated more openly about the reasonings behind their estate choices.
“Lots of folks don’t like to talk about money, but to avoid disputes down the road, it’s helpful to explain why you might be generous to one child versus another. Maybe one child has had more ups and downs in their life—a divorce, a failed business, or something like that—but the other children have been more successful financially.
“If you can explain that in advance, then hopefully, your children will understand, and there will not be any resentment.”
– Robert C. Port, Partner, Gaslowitz Frankel
If you’re not sure which choice is best for you and your family, it might be helpful to speak with your estate planning attorney about your concerns.
Furthermore, we wrote a few blogs on this topic which can show you the types of legal problems that can occur when there’s not enough family communication about your estate plan:
- Transferring a Family Business to Children Without Causing Animosity
- Are Caregiving Children Entitled to a Larger Portion of Their Parent’s Assets?
- Avoiding Family Chaos: Why Your Adult Children Need Wills, Too
About Gaslowitz Frankel
Gaslowitz Frankel is an award-winning fiduciary litigation firm based in Atlanta, Georgia that handles estate disputes, business disputes, and other matters related to fiduciary law. Our firm has a strong track record in achieving favorable outcomes for clients, and founding partners Adam R. Gaslowitz and Craig M. Frankel were recently honored in the 2025 edition of “Best Lawyers in America.”
