As soon as we are born, we start absorbing information from as many sources available to us. We watch our parents’ behavior, listen to people speak around us on TV, the radio, you name it. While we choose to take in much of this information consciously, the majority of the “money messages” we absorb as children happen subconsciously as a product of our surroundings and upbringing.
In a recent episode of our Wealth Matters radio show, our founding partners Adam Gaslowitz and Craig Frankel met virtually with David Bokman, Head of Family Office Resources at Morgan Stanley Wealth Management, and David Geller, Director of Behavioral Wealth Management at Wealth Enhancement Group, to discuss how the messages we absorb about money during our childhood are typically the most influential contributors to our financial behavior and outlook as adults.
Here are some of the highlights from their conversation.
What drives our beliefs about money?
According to Geller, people solidify the money messages they believe by the time they are 18 years old. “There are hundreds of messages out there, but we predominantly receive them from our parents — ‘buy a used car, don’t buy a used car,’ ‘save now, spend later,’ ‘tomorrow may never come,’ etc,” he says. “By the time we’re in our late teens, we hold these messages as absolute truth.” Most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re acting in accordance with these messages from our childhood specifically — we just perceive them as the right thing to do.
Do we pick up money messages from our spouses?
Bokman suggests that even though it may seem like an interaction with your spouse is triggering a new belief about money, if you look at it deeply, it’s likely just triggering a belief from your childhood that is already well-founded. “What happens is that the spouse simply becomes the next place in which the message plays out,” he says. “I’ve observed that a lot of people choose their relationships, in large part, in order to replay some of what they experienced in childhood.”
Why is it important to identify the money messages we subconsciously believe?
Most people are not consciously aware of their money messages. However, Geller says that the people who are aware have a much easier time recalling the situations where those beliefs helped, but struggle to pinpoint many times (if any) that the beliefs may have harmed them. In order to make the best financial decisions, it’s imperative to identify the financial biases you developed during childhood and how they may be holding you back in your adult life.
To learn how to identify your money messages, watch this episode of Wealth Matters here.
Gaslowitz Frankel LLC is Georgia’s premier fiduciary litigation law firm. The firm has earned a reputation for excellence across Georgia and the Southeast providing representation to individuals, executors, trustees, investors, shareholders, and financial institutions in complex fiduciary disputes involving wills, estates, trusts, guardianships, businesses, and securities. Contact our firm with any questions about legal issues involving a dispute or to schedule a consultation with one of our fiduciary litigators.
